June 3, 2009
Waiting On The Lord
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD! (Psalm 27: 13&14)
I can't even begin to tell you how much I can relate with this passage. Yesterday morning I awoke with such a heavy feeling of desperation, heavy enough that I just couldn't shake it. As I began to seek the Lord and ask Him what in the world was going on and how much longer I could take this testing in my life, He responded with the phrase, "Wait on Me". The feeling of desperation and despair didn't leave me instantly, but within a few hours I really began to understand what God was doing in my heart. He's been in the business of breaking me down, to the point where I am utterly and hopelessly dependent on Him. I can attest to the fact that I've never been at this place of brokenness before the Lord, ever. As hard as the daily trials can be, I find such comfort in the simple truths of God's word, the peace He places over me to "guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus", and the massive encouragement from friends and family who realize the depth of my struggle. This waiting is not of the kind that we can all easily relate to, whether it be in an airport, at a bus-stop, or in a long line. This is the kind of waiting that is fixed on the hope of a divine breakthrough, an expectation for a supernatural release. Waiting, when it is fueled by hope and expectation, should feel more like the child who is eagerly on edge to see what gifts he's received on his birthday. Waiting proves and refines our faith. If all we were required to do was pray a simple prayer and wait 10 seconds for our desired response, what faith would we really be setting forth? "Without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God!" (Hebrews 11:6). I believe it pleases the Lord to see us waiting with great expectation on His deliverance. It proves that, despite the odds, we are holding fast to the only God who hears, and answers, our cries.
We recently posted a video clip (you can view it here) that briefly summarizes the vision and heart of what God has called me to. One of the points I make is that there is just no way to compare my past, present (or future) sufferings with the possibility that even ONE single soul would come into God's Kingdom for all eternity. When I made that statement, I really believed it and meant it. But now, I actually feel it. I believe the Lord is allowing me to feel desperation for Him so I can relate His desperation towards others. He loves and pursues every opportunity to lead even one lost sheep back into His heavenly fold. "I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7) God is teaching me to feel His heart for the lost. I've always had a passion for sharing the Gospel with others, so there has always been a part of who I am that is drawn to those lost and in need of finding their way home. It's an entirely new process and position to allow God the room to do whatever He wants in my heart, though. He is pulling out of me all those deep roots, some of which I didn't even know to exist. One of those areas is pride. I've always considered myself a fairly humble person. A very humble person by music industry standards. But God is teaching me humility based on the standard that Jesus alone was qualified to set.
As I learn to wait on the Lord for pretty much everything in life right now, but especially the establishment of the vision He's given me for Come&Live!, I find that, now more than ever, He is strengthening my heart with a determination and passion that I could never muster on my own. On a good day, I feel as though I'm standing on a mountain and can see for miles in every direction, just breathing in the crisp air of God's height and depth, His length and width. On a bad day this vision seems like nothing more than a late night dream, one that passes quickly by, leaving hardly a thing but a faint and distant memory. Through the good and the bad there is a strength in my heart that believes that God is best defined by the word POSSIBLE. "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." (Mark 10:27) So, once again, God allows His Spirit to intertwine with the depth of who I am, shedding off all things that do not bring Him the utmost glory, reminding me that I am already victorious by choosing to arm myself with the weapon of faith.
If you are wondering where God is or why He hasn't shown up just yet (especially in the ways you assumed He would), ask yourself whether there might be a grander work that He is interested in building within you. He cares about us more than the birds of the air or grasses of the field, to the point where He will allow us to be tested and tried for His greater good in us. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1: 2-4)
God is on your side, even today. Even when it feels like He has ended all communication with you (which I have certainly experienced). It is not for any other reason than the required work of transforming you from child into Man (or woman) of God.
I pray that God would release His presence to you, that He would strengthen your heart even right now, that He would give you the grace, peace, and patience to "Wait on The Lord". That, through it all, you would be of good courage! Your testing will not last forever. Breakthrough is on it's way, even if it would tarry until He carries you through Heaven's gates. Wait on Him (He is deliverance), and be of good courage (He is strong when you are weak). Wait on Him (Help is coming)!
May our cups overflow with love for our neighbor and Savior today.
A few other sweet "Waiting" verses are:
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,And in His word I do hope.
And I will wait on the LORD, Who hides His face from the house of Jacob; And I will hope in Him.
And it will be said in that day: “ Behold, this is our God; We have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the LORD; We have waited for Him; We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.”
Therefore I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; My God will hear me.
Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.